The Failed Mission
by slightlysmall
Summary: AU. Draco managed to murder Dumbledore, and Snape has some tidying up to do with the new Headmistress before going back undercover.


The day after Dumbledore's death, Snape sat uneasily in the chair of the headmistress's office, rubbing his hands together, refusing to look McGonagall in the eye. Not yet. He had failed, and that was a terrible thing to have to admit, but she needed to know, and the sooner the better. After all, the Dark Lord's plans for Hogwarts would be carried out despite his failure, and he would have to be long gone.

"Severus, please-"

"Don't use those words, Minerva. They were his last ones."

"What do you mean?"

"It's what I've come here to tell you. I'm sure you noticed the condition of Albus's hand in the months before his death," he said, finally gaining his bearings and looking Minerva in the eye.

"Of course I did. What of it?"

"He was cursed. His curiosity got the better of him at a weak moment. His death was only stoppered. A guarantee, though, within a year of the accident. It had been more than ten months."

"What does that have to do with-"

"I'm getting there," he said with the impatience he usually reserved for his students. The image of Dumbledore falling backwards from the tower, helpless, was burned inside his memory. To speak over it, and calmly, was like fighting back a powerful spell. "Albus knew of the Dark Lord's plans to have the Malfoy boy kill him. He knew because I knew. And that day, when his death was stoppered, he asked me an impossible favor. He asked me to be the one to kill him."

"No."

"He wanted me to see it as a favor to the dying. Logically, I understood the benefits, and the situation was arranged such that the Dark Lord would believe he had my loyalty for as long as he needed it."

Minerva looked up at him, the hint of a smile in her eyes. She chuckled lightly, almost guiltily. "He would have prepared it that well. Of course he would have."

"I made an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa, that I would protect Draco and do what I could to keep him from fulfilling the Dark Lord's orders."

She bit her lip, more of her facade of knowing everything disappearing by the second. "Did you fulfill it?"

He smiled sinisterly. "I'm still alive, aren't I?" His fingers tapped out a rhythm on the desk as he let the words hang between them. "I vowed to protect him, to train him, and to take his place if he failed. The boy did not fail. The Malfoys will find favor in the eyes of the Dark Lord once again."

"I'm not convinced that's the best thing for that family."

Snape shook his head. "Neither am I."

"What about you? Where do you stand with him?"

"The same place I always have. If I had been the one to…" he left the thought unfinished. "It would have guaranteed my safety. He would have thought I was on his side for good. And you and the rest of the staff would think so, too."

"So in some ways this is better."

"Depends on what you mean by better. The Dark Lord could still suspect me. I don't know if I can stay at Hogwarts."

"Where will you go?" Severus had never gotten used to Minerva's compassion. It was like he had never stopped being her student. When she reminded him that she worried about him, he was eleven years old again, greasy-haired, raggedy, second-hand clothes, and she was telling him that she would see what she could do about it.

"I haven't decided yet. And when I have, I won't tell you."

She swallowed. "Of course not. I understand."

Severus glanced nervously around the room. It had only been days. Just days since it belonged to Albus. The number of meetings he'd had here, the number of secrets exchanged… At Hogwarts as a student, he had been afraid of this place. Albus never met with him then except to chastise him, and to drop hints that he was making the wrong decision.

But Albus trusted him, a twenty-year-old. Practically a child. Fresh from the folds of the Dark Lord's inner circle. He had received mercy from the late Headmaster time and time again, and knew he had never fully deserved it. Especially not now. He had failed Albus's final request. His failure might be the key in losing the war. How could Hogwarts hold up without someone like him? Someone who had mastered the art of appearing evil while hiding truer, nobler intentions? Severus knew full well there was no one quite like him.

"He's going to try to infiltrate, with Albus gone," he said when the silence and the memories became too much.

"Of course, of course. Did he trust you with his plans?"

"Some of them. The Carrow siblings. Mandatory Muggle studies. Probably some nasty ideas for what Defense Against the Dark Arts will come. He wanted me placed as Headmaster. Murder Albus then rise in his spot, as if the Dark Lord had already won."

"Would you have done it?"

Snape felt his eyes grow cold and his near-permanent scowl return. "Of course. A subtle hand. Doing what I could to keep the students alive. To keep myself alive. I would have had no choice. But now that I have failed, he could still consider me as Dumbledore's man. I have to leave the school. I have to go to his headquarters and station myself there."

"You'll keep in touch?"

"The best I can." It wasn't an assignment he looked forward to, but it was what Albus would have wanted. And Severus all but sold his soul to the old man the night he came begging for Lily's life. But he had never quite atoned for her death. He probably never could alone. That Potter brat had better find a way to win this war. It was the only way. Severus understood that now. He had no way to win her love back on his own.

He watched a sixteen-year-old murder his mentor. He failed to carry out Albus Dumbledore's last request. Not for the first time, Severus Snape wondered if he could have ever deserved her.


End file.
